Yesterday three very wonderful things happened, all very unexpected, but wonderful. I had a rough start to the day.. in fact it's been a rough ride since the beginning of the year. Fall how ever, brings change for me. I find that when the leaves start to change, so does my attitude. For me the growing darkness brings light. Yesterday morning, I was at my darkest, by mid-morning was shaking my head trying to grasp something that had happened and by the end of the night realized, I need to make changes. If one could realize their mistake and own up to them, if one other could do the things after ten years I didn't think he could and if another, could always make me feel alive when I see him, then why couldn't I take those things as being positive and continue to carry that positive energy with me?
For the past couple months I've been in a deep, dark funk that I cannot seem to pull myself out of. As I said, yesterday I was at my lowest, then three things happened to make me realize that the things I keep thinking can never happen, are. If I think positive, keep in the light, then the things in that I want in my life will come to me. Staying in the light means continuing to think positive. I am taking the things that happened to me yesterday and using them to help me change my attitude. I know I am still going to have moments where I feel down, alone and sad, but I will make a bigger effort to find the positive. I know that a huge part of my problem is my impatience. "Good things come to those who wait." Is that the saying that I heard my grandmother repeat over and over when I was a kid? I know that if I take one step at a time, I will get there without falling down. I'm tired of falling down.. it hurts.
Yesterday was and eye opener and the kick in the ass that I needed.
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