Yesterday I abruptly deactivated my facebook account. I've been trying for months to make the leap, only ever able to stay off for a few days at a time. In recent weeks I have been trying desperately to finish 3 book projects, all off which are 2/3rds done. I keep finding myself being drawn away from my first love and to the distraction of that terrible drug.. facecrack. I pulled the plug yesterday and though going through withdrawal I am going to stick to my guns this time. There truly is nothing on there for me, I can't become a better person with Facebook, I'm not going to save the world or cure AIDS on there and I sure as hell am not going to get these books finished and published by being on there either.
The ironic thing here, is people I didn't think would really notice my disappearance have messaged me to make sure I am ok and the people that should have noticed have said nothing. It's funny how we use a cyberspace networking tool to gauge the sincerity of those around us. Weird if I don't say so myself. In all honestly I need to step back and take a hard long look at myself and what is really going on in my life. I've already started to take my health and fitness to another with the raw diet and the beginning of my own boot camp. Now I have to do the same with personal life. I constantly preach to others that life is supposed to be forward moving. I have been doing this at a snails pace and need to start kicking myself as hard as I kick others. The first step for me is to break the bad habit of procrastination with my life. Step 1 of the 12 step program, GET OFF FACEBOOK.
Then there is my crutch... the cell phone.
I am not a people person. I am introvert who would rather chat on MSN or text than actually talk to someone face to face or dial a phone and have an actual conversation. It seems that the fates have decided enough is enough and over the last week my crutch, AKA my Blackberry has begun to die a slow... jerky death. Randomly shutting itself off till it finally gave up the ghost this afternoon. I called my provider to find that after dropping it in a sink full of water a few months ago, it was only a matter of time before the battery said adios. I unfortunately can't get a new battery till after work on Monday, so am with out the ability to cower behind the safety of BB messenger and text. I actually took the brave step of giving out my land line number to people and telling them to phone me rather than message or email. Step 2 of the 12 step plan.
Whew, 2 out of 12 steps in one day is plenty. That alone is exhausting in itself.
Step 3 of 12... an actual date with someone? Do I dare....
Addendum: It's been almost 1.5 weeks since I left Facecrack, and I have no intentions of going back until I have fulfilled 3 promises I made to myself. I'm not sharing those promises, they are too personal, but until they happen, my own personal facebook page stays deactivated.
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