When you have too much time on your own, you do too much thinking. The last few days I have been trying to figure out why humans are the way they are. The more I think the more I understand why our society is so fucked up. But there is still one thing that bothers me. It always has.
Why do nice people get used and walked all over, yet assholes get what they want. Look around, it's true. People who are genuinely nice and have good hearts should be the ones that get what they want, yet as soon as an asshole steps up to plate... This makes no sense to me. I am not sure I will ever figure it out, so I've resigned myself to stop.
I am sitting here, listening to the rain outside, it's a legitimate excuse for me to stay in. I've been doing that a lot lately. It looks like I will be doing it a lot going forward as well. In many ways it is fine, I need to finish my first book of short stories, do taxes and work on other stuff. Financially it is better for my pocket book.
I'm not meaning to sound whiny here. Things have just been bugging me lately. More than they should be I suppose. I am also not complaining about sitting home. I do go out on my own. I've been a loner most of my life. The life of a lone gun not unfamiliar to me.
It's spring and soon summer and the warm weather should be making me feel happy and light, but it isn't. I think I just need a trip to the island, that always puts things into perspective. Since living in Toronto, I always wondered what it would be like to live over there. There is a calm creepiness about it. I imagine evenings the spookiest. A place that is perfect for me.
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