Is the strike finally over?

I made a decision today to start doing something again that I promised myself I wouldn't. No, I'm not taking up smoking or eating meat again. Against my better judgment, I decided to... deep breath, wait for it... start dating again. Yikes. Is this a good idea? I guess I'm about to find out.

It's been a while since I've been on a date. I stopped dating early last summer. I decided to stop because after one horrendous misadventure after another, I had become discouraged with what options were available to me. I also found that I had stopped dating my 'type', simply because I thought that was the issue. After talking it out with a friend and thinking out loud A LOT over the last few days... it's not the 'type' that is the problem, it was the type of men I was dating.

I like artsy, edgy, tattooed, rock and roll loving, outgoing men. I use to date this type all the time and had a blast. One day, and I wish I new what the hell I was thinking, I decided I needed to start going on grown up dates, date men with 'good' jobs and a future. Grown up dates? 'Good' jobs? What the hell! Not to worry, it was just a phase and that phase is OVER.

In life we are drawn to certain things for a reason. They fit with our personalities and our lifestyles. I realized how much I missed the type of guy I use to date when I went with a friend to a ball... I was dressed to the nines, in pain due to my bling shoes, attempting to see if there were any potential, grown up men in the crowd... I looked around and all night long my line of vision kept going to the same person. My 'type' was there with his girlfriend, and every time I glanced over at him I got a pang of nostalgia. I went home, peeled off the terrible shoes I was wearing and made a promise that I was NEVER going to go against type again. I'm attracted to that kind of man for a reason. That reason is called 'having something in common'.

This girl is a horror loving, zombie knowing, writer, sucker for animals, who does too much for others and never asks for anything back. I like edgy boys with tattoos, was a punk rock, goth music loving, black wearing kid growing up, who never fit in. So why the hell am I trying to fit in with the wrong type of people now? I have a crowd of ghouls that I belong to and it's time that I get back to where I belong.

Yes, I am going to start dating again. I am going to go back to my picky ways, dating only my 'type'. This time around though, I am going to be tougher. I want to find someone who wants to be with me for who I am and not for what they can get from me. I maybe re-entering a world that I really didn't' like the first twenty times around, but at least it gives me great fodder, not to mention a creative outlet I can use in my stories.

I am about to dive back in again... wish me luck... I forgot to attach my safety rope... again...

addendum:
After much consideration, and lack of inspiration by what has been offered up to me of late, I'm back on strike. I know, I know, that sure didn't last long. It isn't due to impatience, it is due to all that is out there is the same ole, same ole all wanting the same things. I'm just not up for it and lack the energy to continually have to explain myself. So, it's just easier to say, 'I'm on strike, till conditions improve.' I just don't see the strike ending any time soon...

The Journey Begins

I am about to start two very different journeys, one involves a possible move and the other a four legged 10 year old fur ball. Both are going to be tough and likely expensive, but one won't stop the other from happening or vice versa.

Today my dogs vet confirmed that my little blondie boy indeed has Cushings. For those who are unfamiliar with the illness it affects humans, dogs and horses. Believe it or not, dogs and horses have many of the same illnesses as humans.

Cushing's disease (hyperadrenocorticism) is a condition that results from the chronic overproduction of too much glucocorticoid in the body. In the normal dog, the pituitary gland produces a hormone called ACTH, which stimulates the adrenal gland to produce the steroid hormone glucocorticoid necessary for the function of many systems in the body. If something goes wrong in the pituitary gland or adrenal gland and too much glucocorticoid is produced, then Cushing's disease develops. This is a very complicated disease with a wide range of symptoms and causes. This article will try to give a concise description of the disease, its symptoms, how it is diagnosed, and its treatment.

(for more info please go here

The little guy was subjected to a bunch of tests last week and this friday even more. A days worth actually. So far he hasn't shown any symptoms so I am hoping he is early enough into the disease that I won't yet have to subject him to hoards of meds. It also means I will have him around much longer!

This news, though it stresses me out and makes me really, really sad, isn't affecting my plans to potentially move to New York City. I am still continuing on. It won't make a difference if he is sick there or here. What matters is that he gets the best care I can possibly give him.

The thoughts of my 4 legged blondie being sick, makes me... ill to my stomach. He is adorable, loving, sweet and never complains. Every morning after my female dog mauls me while licking my face and demanding all my attention, he patiently waits, belly exposed to get his morning belly rub. How is it that such good dog ends up with such a shitty disease.

In his case, rather both my dogs cases, they have me. Many call me a sucker, but they don't understand the unconditional love of dogs. They call me sucker because to them dogs are dogs and who is insane enough to spend thousands of dollars on vet bills to keep them happy? Me that is who. On many occasions I make sacrifices if they need medical attention. They are my responsibility, when you become a pet owner you have made that unconditional promise to your four legged friend. Many choose another route, preferring to put their animals to sleep rather than care for a pet. I could never be that kind of a person.

When I was a teenager I was considering becoming a Veterinarian, but when I realized one of the responsibilities was to put down a sick animal, I deferred. I knew I would never have that in me.

I've started to do my homework, reading everything I can find on Cushings so I understand what is ahead and what signs to look for. This isn't going to be fun or easy but, my life has never been easy. I am constantly being tested, but like all the other tests I've passed with flying colours, this is just another that I will figure out all the answers to.

Two different journeys and one fearless journey woman! Let the adventures begin!

New York City Here I come?

For some time now I've been considering moving to New York City. It's been a dream of mine since I was a child. I've been living in Toronto since I was 18 and I feel that I want to spend the next phase of my life in The Big Apple. I know there are lots of recently transplanted Canadians out there and am hoping some of you would be willing to pass on to me information on what you had to do to move to the US. (Process/contacts etc)

The funny thing is when I tell people what I want to do they go on and on about how hard it will be for me. They never bring up the expense of moving, no their concern is I won't know anyone. When I moved to Toronto, I didn't know anyone then either. Being a loner, not knowing people doesn't worry me, eventually I will meet people. I think it takes a certain type of personality to be able to pick up and go and well, that would be me and considering everything that is going on in my life right now, it is definitely time for this girl to pick up and move her ass outta here!

May issue of Lipstik Indie

Hey Everyone! The May issue of Lipstik Indie is up!!! In this issue:

Our Featured artists is Bryan Byrne, reviewed by Nik Beat. Nik also reviews David Martel's I Hardly Knew Me.

Our newest reviewer Matt Gilbert Reviews the indie movie Homeland Insecurity.

Viki Ackland reviews Richie Bookers Shine the Light.

Laurie Roberts reviews ezines Xstream and EK's Writing Blog.

And I reviewed Devon 'The Split' Jones Spoken Word CD, Pleasure In Pain.

Fly on over to lipstikindie.com and enjoy!

Facebook, the finder of lost loves?

If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any farther than my own backyard because if it isn't there than I never really lost it ~ Dorothy, Wizard of Oz

Facebook isn't just for networking or finding old friends and relatives it seems. Apparently it is the hotspot for hunting down, er, I mean finding lost loves. In the last month I have heard the odd story about it, but this last week I've heard three via facebook friends. Their stories almost sound like something of fiction, but they are real true to life stories. (I am only posting two of the stories because two of the three were similiar) I know they aren't as heart wrenching as one would like, nor are they the never ending babble about the US or the swine flu, but once in a while hearing about a happy ending makes me think the world might be ok for a few moments.

The first story I heard this week was about a woman who was found by the first guy she ever dated. They are both now divorcees with children. He has never stopped thinking about her and one day he decided to search for her on facebook. Apparently it wasn't an easy task as she had changed her last name when she married, but through information from other friends, as well as looking up old school chums he was able to find her and now the rest is history.

Another started wondering what ever happened to her first love. They met the last year of high school, but he moved away. This was before the time of internet and texting so they ended up losing touch. (Yes I just heard a millions twenty year olds gasp and go, 'time before the internet and texting?', someone might have restart their hearts). She also went on the facebook hunt and found him. Neither had ever married, until now. They are now engaged and getting married this summer.

I myself have reconnected on facebook with someone I had a mad crush on when I was a teen. In my case, since we have started chatting again, he has found someone else. I of course am still the shy girl in many ways and never spoke up, again. My loss, and I guess in my case, it just isn't in the stars.

I am and always will be a true believer in fate. Things happen, when they happen for a reason. Last week I was back onto my path of not believing and not liking the human race very much, then these stories put a smile on my face. Believe it or not, I'm not always the cynical one. Sometimes I do believe in faerytale endings.

The new monthly issue is up at shebytches.com.

The new monthly issue is up at shebytches.com.

Please help us welcome new writer Heather Wood, returning writer Denise Haggerty and guest author Romy Shiller!

Here is what is in the issue!

Carolina's Bytch If you fight all the time, why do you stay together?

Right now I'm sitting here, TRYING to finish a short story. I have my music turned up and it's very loud, the soundtrack from Repo!

Denise Haggerty “Bad Manners: A 21st Century Epidemic for the "Awakened" Ones”.

I think that there are many people in this world lacking in good manners. The kind of manners taught once upon a time ago by our grandmothers and grandfathers.

Heather Wood Persons, eh?

This month's footage of brave Afghani women holding their largest rally since 1970, and being physically and verbally threatened just for standing up for the right not to have sex with one's husband, got me thinking that myself and other Canadian women shouldn't be so complacent about our own hard-won rights.

Romy Shiller Ogre-Drag

I’ve been thinking about the Shrek movies and Ogre-Drag. I really wanted the films to be innovative and different. To me, they were more of the same—worse because they pretended to “subvert” traditional fairy tales (Poniewozik 1).

Viki Ackland Today (a poem)

If you fight all the time, why do you stay together?

I'm sitting here, TRYING to finish a short story. I have my music turned up and it's very loud, and I am playing the soundtrack from Repo! The Genetic Opera. Normally I don't play music when I write, I prefer nothing going in the background, not even the T.V., as it distracts me, I have it on right now because the couple next door is fighting AGAIN! If you argue all the time, why do you stay together?

I am not trying to sound hypocritical here. I am guilty of this, I stayed in a relationship WAY too long with someone who did anything he could to antagonize me and start fights. However, I learned from this. I will never stay in a relationship if all I do is argue and struggle to keep things calm and me happy!

I keep going back and forth on whether or not to start dating again. I did the math and I haven't 'dated' for almost nine months. (dating meaning, dinners, movies, hanging out, meeting each others friends... dating). Every single time I hear next doors screaming matches, or remind myself of a few former friends tumultuous 'relationships' I take two steps back. Do I really want to get involved with someone again? Do I really want to take a chance that I am going to end up in another relationship that ends because of constant verbal sparring?

I am once again in hermit mode. Partly because I am desperately trying to get this book done and the other part is I don't know if I really want to put myself out there again. As every day goes by I am becoming less wanting of human companionship. I know this sounds strange, but every time I hear people who are suppose to be 'in love' screaming hurtful and sometimes abusive things at each other, I cringe? I also begin to wonder are all relationships like this? Is there anyone out there who really adore each other, never fight and are truly happy? If so I'm not seeing it. I guess I just don't understand, if you love someone, why do you have to fight with them? Shouldn't you be doing everything you can to make each other and yourselves happy?

If you are fighting, then you aren't happy and if you aren't happy, you shouldn't be together. Life is too short to be miserable and until someone steps up and proves me wrong. Proves to me that I can date and be in a relationship with out the fear of being back in the situation I was two years ago, then I am going to not date.