Sometimes we give away too much.

Today I had a conversation with a good friend, a best friend. She said some things to me that stung a little, but truthful things she only said because she cares about me. She told me that I give too much of myself away to people who don't deserve it and when I don't get the same reciprocated back, I silently act out. Under no terms did she say I was a door mat, rather a mothering type who is always looking out for the other guy, yet always going over the top.

I fought with myself to disagree with her, but, I couldn't. She was correct and that is what stung. She was painfully right, I give too much of myself to others, they rarely give back and I need to learn how to stop. I need to start saying no, start being selfish and if they don't give back I need to not continue on. I need to stop being nice, I need to learn to walk away.

Since I was a kid I've always looked after everyone. As an adult, though not wanting children, am the mothering type. Everyone comes to me when in need, having questions or, needing to get things done. I am the dependable, responsible one, the one that will get the job done, the sacrificial lamb. I've sacrificed and given without question, putting others first, over and over again.

Today, was an awakening. Today I realized that if I am EVER going to be able to make Carolina happy or get ahead in my life, I need to stop. I need to take myself off the offering table. I need to stop giving myself away.