About every six months or so, I get this wicked urge to go to NYC. I haven't been there in a few years and miss it! It's not just a craving to visit though, since I can remember I have dreamed of living there, writing and enjoy all that amazing city has to offer. On schedule as with every other six months, I start watching movies that are based in the city, start perusing availability of apartments and checking for seat sales. About a year ago I was seriously looking into how I could move there and live as a working writer, paper work was partially filled out and plans were being made.
Why didn't I continue? A friend talked me out of it. Now I realize it was for her own selfish reasons, but none the less it worked, I put all the papers aside and continued on with my life in Toronto. Suddenly, here I am again, wanting. I'm not sure if it is cabin fever, or spring fever for that fact, or that every time I flip a channel or pick up a magazine I have NYC in my face, but I'm itching for that city. Right now I am also feeling very nostalgic, my cousin and I use to go all the time when I was in my twenties, without even a second consideration, we would both grab a few necessities and book the first plane out. We would spend long weekends wandering the streets of Manhattan, planning what building we would live in, what fashion houses she would work for and what magazines I would write for.
I've been asked three times in the last 6 months to go to NYC for a visit. I've turned all offers down, because deep down inside I know that if I go right now, I will find a way not to return to Toronto. I wish I could explain this need. A good majority of people don't understand why I would ever even consider moving to the US, let alone New York, but, there are the rare few who do. I for years didn't understand it myself, but apparently it is like a virus, once you've been bitten you just can't shake it. Someone suggested that if I lived there for a short period of time I would get rid of this infatuation and be able to move on, but somehow, I don't think I will. According to others who have the same 'virus' so to speak that I do, once it is in your blood, it is for good!
So, what am I going to do about this 'fever' I am having right now. Temporarily I will fulfill my needs with magazines, dvd's and websites. I will continue to price out shoebox sized apartments in Manhattan, and well, this time I think I am going to plan a weekend away. Spring in Manhattan is almost as wonderful as looking at the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Square. I'm afraid that this time my craving won't be one I can hold back. I just hope when I land at JFK... I am able to find my way back here.
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