Thursday, July 31, 2008

new...

I just noticed that today is the beginning of a new moon. This is significant to me because today is also my birthday and the Day of Loki. For those unaware of who he is, he is known by many names but is the Norse God of strife. Loki is known for rearing his head on this day.. today.. I suggest he will not.

New moon = new beginning and as everyone knows, I am due in so many ways!!!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Fog...

This morning my Mom had to drop her van off at the mechanics as it needed have a few things repaired. The garage was out in Red Bay (approx. 15 minutes north of Wiarton). I had to follow her, to the garage, in their truck. (I figured being the kind daughter, I would make her walk all the way back to town.) It was lovely and sunny on the crazy curving road. We had cottages on one side and Lake Huron on the other. As we turned a very sharp corner, we entered a very thick patch of fog. I wondered to myself, what will lay on the other side of that fog... more cottages or have I now entered my own twilight zone.

I imagined ending up in another dimension or a Rob Zombie movie. The excitement of the stories I could tell. My terrifying ordeal, my heroic escape. A lifetime filled with nightmares. Then... the fog ended...

No other dimension... no Rob Zombie... no Rod Serling... just more badly paved road... The most terrifying thing on the other side of the fog, was the mechanics Jack Russell terriers. I am still truly convinced that they are hell hounds... just you wait.

Just... you... wait...

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Be afraid.... Be VERY Afraid

I've come to the conclusion that Wiarton does indeed have Zombies... I've heard them every single night I've been here. As I lay in my room, the outside noises of crickets and a nearby hooting owl are sometimes drown out by the familiar moaning and grunting of the creatures of the night. At first I thought to myself, is it possible that it could be a drunkard staggering helplessly home. Not out of the ordinary for this small town but at this point unlikely. Those are definitely the sounds of the undead looking for some fresh flesh for their midnight snack.

I have however found something even more frightening here. More frightening than Zombies you question? How can anything possibly be more frightening than Zombies. Oh, never have any doubts when in Wiarton that such things do exist. It is terrifying, the kind of scared where when cornered by these vicious, vile creatures, you stand motionless. There is no where to run or hide. By day the seem harmless, but in the dim light of a local Legion they take on another mind numbing form. I speak of the dark, dangerous creatures also known as the Wiarton Male.

Zombies I know how to deal with. Aim for the head. You can outrun them and outsmart a Zombie, you can see it coming before they see or smell you. The Wiarton Male, although you can outsmart them, you almost never see them coming till they are up in your grill. They smell out-of-towners like dogs smell fear. They stalk you as a lion would it's prey and then pounce when you are most vulnerable. When the music starts and you are momentarily left alone by the parents you clutch onto for protection. The same parents that have lead to the Wiarton Male's den, fully knowing they are about to sacrifice their daughter to the pack. I would not escape the hours long torment of being cornered and tortured as my parents sat back acting as if they knew nothing of it. Leaving me to the terrible creatures.

Be afraid... be very afraid....

Not to worry, my parents paid dearly for their deceit. I let my dogs crap in their shoes.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Are you still in Toronto?

I am in Wiarton, at my parents, for 2 weeks. I needed to get out of the city for a while to just, get away from it. I needed to get away from the noise, pollution and people... not people I love... just people, in general. I needed some peace and quiet.

It has been awesome so far. I've been in the pool every day, get to hang with my nephews and my parents, I'm getting writing done, I get to see my nephews play baseball... The only thing I forgot when I go to baseball.. there are people there. My mom keeps politely pointing out to me, you went to school with her or him.... you should go say hi.. Blah, I don't want to go say hi. I'm not there to visit with anyone else... then when I do get corned I keep getting asked the mundane question...

Are you still in Toronto?

I bite my tongue because what I want to say is, 'Yesssss, I'm in Toronto, I never left. Though unlike yourself, I did get the hell out of this place. You still in Wiarton????' But I don't. I am the polite daughter it seems... I grin, nod and walk away.... far.. away or.. look at my mother with a look of HELP! She never rescues me.. she finds it amusing it seems.

Then the piece de resistance....

sigh...

So I hear you never got married or have any kids? What happened? Again... I have to bite my tongue... so many things I would love to say, but don't. People on most counts don't ask you your political views so why do they think they can ask you why you didn't get married or have kids. I have many, many reasons for both, none of them are anyones business but mine. Yes I do explain this to those I feel need explaining, but for the most part, keep it to myself. I normally answer them by saying... with a very confused look on my face... 'Why do you ask?' That usually puts a quick end to it...

So I will continue to grin and bite my tongue. I am here for my family and family only... pray I don't snap!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

a wiarton here I come... a wiarton here I come.. hi ho.. the... may the gods help me!!!

Seriously... in a few days I will be on the road to Wiarton... to spend a few weeks with my parents.

Insert parent jokes here

all kidding aside, my parents are awesome.. will spoil me, feed me and embarrass me a few times.

I get to sit in a pool when I like, watch satellite TV... a million channels and nothing on... hang out with my nephews, go out on my Dad's boat... drink my face off and not worry about how I'm getting home... not like when I was 16 and would get grounded..

read, write, get caught up on reviews...

be dragged to the Legion

yes... I said Legion.... it is Wiarton after all..

I have given my friends an open invite to come stay there with me...

seriously you guys

beer, pool, BBQ, boat rides... Village Fair

Did I mention on the long weekend there is a Village Fair... and a ferris wheel...

Ok.. it's not quite the Behemoth, but...

Don't you miss me yet :)

Did I mention my parents have a pool....

Good bye Soy Ice cream... oh how I loved thee...

So here it is... I need to lose 20 lbs....

Twenty.. two zero... the big 20. I want to lose them by August 31st. Sounds unreasonable to most but it's not. You see. I can lose it very quickly if I stick to something. Something called Raw food. Today I have eaten the last of my cooked food... including my way too over indulgent soy icecream.. tomorrow... 100 % raw. Oh that and exercising every day...

The exercising will be easy... I am at my parents for two weeks and my nephews... who are both bundles of energy will keep me going... on the run so to speak...

Once I reach my goal in a month in a half, I need to be disciplined enough to say at 90% raw. I've done it before. I LOVED it! I need to be more focused. This is for my own good and my health. And I feel better all around... so...

RAW! RAW! RAW!

For reals this time!

Monday, July 7, 2008

I have a hypothetical question...

I'm wondering. What if a hypothetical question was imperative to your destiny... hypothetically speaking...

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Evil and fav new websites

I just came across these websites. Where were they all this time!!!!!!!!!

Neurotically Yours. I LOVE this! I am trying to go outside today but can't stop watching them and I bought a tee shirt! To see the older ones go into the toons section. If you are a Starbucks player hater, click on small, medium, large. http://www.illwillpress.com/

Contemplating Reiko http://taintedink.com/

Zombie Dating

I found a date through zombie harmony - one of the best free dating sites for zombies
Created by Mingle2.com (Dating for non-zombies)

Are you compatible with me???