the rule of thumb???

The rule of thumb (WTF does that mean anyway) is that each day you wake up and it's a bit easier, you feel a bit better. In fact each day I am feeling a bit worse. Being sad sucks.

The other day, someone said it's just my frame of mind. Dismissing it, as if, I was being melodramatic or acting like a spoiled kid. I got mad and then was called stubborn. Stubborn?


Then I realized, yes, I am stubborn. I come by it honestly. I am my Father's daughter. My Dad, is someone I love and respect more than anyone on this earth. His family is the most important thing on the face of the earth to him and he would do anything for them. As a matter of a fact he has. This man has sacrificed so many things for us, I don't even know where to begin. I am, just like him. I put everyone first, me second. That is why I am having such a hard time dealing right now. It is also why I am being so stubborn.

I refuse to give up, or admit defeat. I always have to try every option possible. Exhaust all possibilities... all of them. I keep thinking there is hope, I get my hopes dashed, but yet, I refuse to give up. The problem is, this isn't making feeling better.

My Father has also told me, that I am a strong and beautiful woman who deserves the universe at her feet. I also brushed it off before, well... because he is my father. I use to think, he's my father, he has to tell me that. You know what, he says it because he means it. I do deserve the universe at my feet and damn it.. I'm going to get it!

FYI... this is the rule of thumb according to wikipedia (how can I live without you) and... I think my head may have exploded!!!!