way to make me cry viki...

It is time for a cleanse.

I need to do something to purge myself of all of these awful feelings. To purge my body of all the toxins I have accumulated. Starting next Tuesday I am doing another Master Cleanse. It's time. Since all of this has been happening my stomach is off, I as a whole am off. When I do the cleanse it is both a physical and spiritual purge. I plan on doing Yoga every day along with the cleanse.

I need to cleanse myself from the inside out. It might not wash away my sadness but it is a start. I need to heal. It will be a slow process, but it needs to be done. I also want to start reading books on Buddhism and start to learn how to meditate. Both my heart and spirit are broken and I need to fix them.

The norm is to do the cleanse for 10 days. I am going to go for as long as I need to. When I am done I need to try harder to be raw. I haven't tried hard enough.

In the end I need to find my happy place again.

I'm broken and out of order till further notice...

nataliedee.com

I am having huge issues with this..

Earth Day... Earth Hour...

I am having HUGE issues with this. Why do we only do this for one day or one hour. Why do we have to remind people to take care o our Earth. This is ridiculous and makes me so angry. We shouldn't need one day to show appreciation to this planet. IT SHOULD BE EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! EVERY DAY. Do you realize that very soon you won't even have a livable surface. Think about recent events. England was having severe bitterly cold weather... that's not normal. Our west coast is having our weather. Places in the last 5 years that use to have 'normal' temperatures are having severe fluctuations in same, not to mention the flooding and the drought.

Try recycling, try not driving, try taking transit or walking for a change. Us locally grown produce, don't use plastic bags at grocery stores, cook your meals from scratch and compost. These are only a few things you can do every day that will make a HUGE difference. Why wait for only one day. Why wait for April 22nd to show you care!

Take care of Mother Earth everyday!!!!!!! Love her, show her you appreciate her.

more freakiness...

so, I mentioned a few posts ago about the computer coming on by itself... this is what just happened... i saw a flash of light come from my bathroom. The light is off there... my boy dog was laying in the area, got up, turned around, looked at where the flash came from, walked over to me with his tail down and is now curled up beside me....

Stuff like this doesn't bother me, it's been happening to me all my life... but it only started when Sarrah arrived. She is going through a lot of emotional pain right now, so it could be the negativity sparking something... but.. then again... it could have been here the entire time and I am just noticing it now..... I can be a little dense sometimes....

moments of freakiness and it begins...

Last night, Sarrah and I were watching The Shining. Twice during really intense moments of the movie, my computer came on. Yes, it came on... by itself. It was in sleep mode and the only way it could come out of sleep mode is if you click the mouse or touch a key on the keyboard. I even tested out this theory to show Sarrah. Neither of this could be done accidently by either of us because we were sitting on the other side of the room when it happened. Spooooooky!

And today is the first day of the 30 day raw challenge!!! I am going to do 100% raw for the entire month. The options are to do 80-100% as it would be hard for some to do 100%. I have done it before and was 80% for several months. Somewhere around October I fell off the wagon. Now I need to get back on for so many reasons. I can't even tell you have fabulous I felt when I was mostly raw. I slept better, lost weight, had more energy.... it goes on!

This is just one of the things I need to get back on track with. My writing, my health and my weight! But the biggest thing is me. I keep getting lost in other people and keep forgetting about me. Sarrah and Viki both gave me a slap yesterday and reminded me of this. We need to keep reminding each other that we need to be selfish and stop feeling guilty for taking care of ourselves. I was reminded that I need to be more patient and less analytical. I try to dissect everything, even when it doesn't need to be. But my biggest thing right now, and no Sarrah it's not my OCD, is that I do need to be patient. I tend to go through life a few steps and sometimes miles ahead of the others, turning around and like a drill sergeant yelling at people to keep up. Everyone has their own pace.. and it's not the same as mine!

There is a bunch of us that are going through a lot of emotional crap right now, but we are here for each other. We need to help each other get through it. If you can't count on your best friends who can you count on. And it is funny how things go full circle. Several months ago, Anna was there for me when I separated from my Ex. She opened her doors and arms to me and let me stay with her till I got my shit together. The same is happening with my best friend Sarrah. She is with me now, trying to figure out her life. I told her I will do what ever she needs to help her.

Life continues to kick us in the ass, all we can do is give it a dirty look, rub our asses and continue on full speed ahead. The pain of it all sucks, but we aren't robots. We are however, strong, independent goddesses. We should never expect less, than to be treated like goddesses and we have to remind each other every single day of this.

I love all my girls and refuse to let any of them suffer unnecessarily! Sometimes our lives are like a really bad Sex in the City episode, but, like those episodes we always get a good laugh in the end.