A reminder of where I come from..

On my bookshelf is a yellow, plastic envelope. The contents inside is a mix of childhood pictures, old family photos and documentation about the history of my family heritage. I keep promising the yellow envelope, that I will sort it, place the documentation in a proper binder and the photo's in a beautiful album! In 2011 I will. But... that is neither here nor there.

In the process of looking for a photo for facebook, I found a document my Uncle Andy started several years ago, The History Of the Smart Family. Each time I read it I'm in awe of the love and determination my Uncle put into the document, but it is only really a beginning. Our family history is insane, tumultuous and beautiful and each time I read it, I'm reminded of where I come from. Warriors, explorers, but the most important one, proud Scots. If there was a bloody battle, there was a Smart involved, most notably, being part of the outlawed Clan MacGregor. A bunch of bad ass, hard drinking, rowdy troublemakers in Kilts. That about sums up my family still. Maybe a little less Kilt wearing, but you get the picture.

The other thing that bites me in the arse each time, is the paragraph about our coat of arms/crest/family motto.

"The most ancient "Coat of Arms" granted to the Smart name known is, Silver on a chevron between three arrow heads with a gold five leafed clover. The crest is an eagle with a burdock in it's beak. The family motto, "Virtus Pre Nummis" which means... "Virtue before Money"'. Virtue before money... ain't that the truth!

I think it is finally time to stop putting the envelope back on the shelf.

Solstice

{It's too bad Mel isn't in this picture, she was the photographer}

This is how Winter Solstice should be, about letting the light back in and a fresh start. Letting your fears, paranoia's, anger, and regrets burn away in the flames. This years Solstice was such an amazing night from beginning to end! There was fire and lots of it! The beer was constantly flowing. I was with people I care about and love and I met new friends. This is how we should start every new year!

How am I starting my new year? I am going to let go of my fears. I have a few things that I have always been afraid to do. It's time to get over those fears, nut up and do it! I'll let hundreds of spiders crawl all over me, but stand in front of a crowd of people and sing, I panic. I will stand on the roof of a 100 floor high building and look down, but to this day still can't stand on the glass floor of the CN tower. The list is way longer than this and I am challenging myself to get over each one.

And then along came December...

December is usually my least favourite months of the year, October my favourite. In the past, December is filled with frustration and the feeling that I am always pushing against the grain. When you don't celebrate the traditions of others, it ends up feeling like you are constantly teetering on the wobbling fence of awkward, wishing you could hide till December is over. Something about December this year changed. That solid wrapping of darkness fell away. A combination of the people now in my life, and my decision to do the one thing I love, no matter how crazy the struggle, gave me back a huge chunk of freedom. Like minded, loving and non-judgmental people will do that.

New year, new path, new hope :)

<3 <3 <3

Fire good! {Mandy if you are serious, lets do it}

The 2011 List!

I’m actually getting this list done before Jan 1!!! This is a list of all the things I want to attempt before December 31st, 2011. Some are from my 2010 list, that list had 100 to dos and I finished 49 of them. They didn’t get completed.... shhhhh. So... instead of a list of 100 am keeping it a bit more realistic at 50!

1. Learn to Salsa ~ have already taken some lessons
2. Tim Burton Exhibit at Lightbox
3. Finish all 3 manuscripts
4. Get a book picked up for publication
5. Go to Scotland
6. Re-learn Swing Dancing
7. Take Burlesque lessons
8. Sing Karaoke ~ am terrified to sing in front of people
9. Since I’m going to brave Karaoke.... learn to play an instrument
10. Day trip to Stratford
11. Shakespeare in the park
12. Be in a Zombie Movie
13. See the Nutcracker
14. Road trip to Niagara Falls and all the haunted attractions
15. Ride in a Hearse ~ while still alive
16. Tour the Bruce Caves with my Dad
17. Go camping
18. Visit the Science Centre
19. Go to NYC for a weekend
20. Stay in a haunted Bed and Breakfast
21. Have a 1950’s style dinner party - everyone has to come dressed up 1950’s, menu and Martini’s
22. Re-read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
23. Glow in the dark bowling
24. Do at least one thing I have never tried ~ skiing downhill, snowboarding, archery, stand on the glass floor of the CN tower.
25. Have a minimum of 3 articles published in major publications
26. Have a short story published in an anthology
27. Do a 30 day yoga challenge
28. Watch the sunrise, from a beach
29. Learn how to do a somersault.
30. Visit a province I’ve never been in
31. Go to a Carnival
32. Work at a haunt if even for one night, this halloween
33. Take her parents to the CN tower
34. Visit Casa Loma
35. See my cousin Lisa!
36. Fit back into my Skinny Jeans!
37. Carve my name in a tree
38. Spend and afternoon at Necropolis
39. Walk in the secret cemetery
40. Day on the island, including picnic and nude beach
41. Go to Trash Palace
42. Spend a week in Wiarton - this is tougher than it seems....
43. Have my tea leaves read
44. Ride the bike trails
45. Finish off my writing to do list
46. Write a poem and read it out loud in front of people
47. Hand-write one letter a month
48. Complete both the Script Frenzy in April and National Novel Writing Month in November
49. Spend Dec 25th having a second annual do nothing but watch Xmas themed horror movies day
50. Write this list for 2012 before Jan 1st