I'm a romantic. I always have been, however my idea of romance is stuck somewhere in a 1920's state of mind. In the last couple of months I have been back and forth on the whole dating thing, I decided to start dating again, quit, started again and now am considering going back on a dating strike. Why? Because the art of wooing and age of chivalry is dead!
The fact that men no longer seem to understand how to woo a woman is frustrating the hell out of me. If a man actually took the time to do things to get my attention and make an effort to impress me, I might actually want to date. Instead all I have been getting are men wanting to 'hook-up'. I swear to the Gods the next man that says that to me get's punched in the nads! I hate that term, HATE IT! What ever happened to sending flowers, nice dinners, sweet words and manners. I want to be wooed. I want to be taken on dates, I want a man to actually make the effort and show me that they are worth my time.
In the last month I have had two men from a year and a half ago suddenly re-appear. Back then, I went on a couple dates with both men, but ended it for different reasons. One of the reasons was that one of them had a girlfriend, which I discovered a few dates in. Apparently he still has a girlfriend, but was hoping I had somehow gotten amnesia in the last year and a half or conveniently forgot. Really? Really?
I've grown weary of constantly having men who are in relationships (married or otherwise), unavailable, or just not into being into a relationship making their 'moves' on me. Even those who are supposedly 'available' are frustrating me to no ends. I have to keep explaining how I'm not interested in a casual only relationship. What ever happened to the men who want to date because they are looking for a possible relationship, where are the men who are looking for love?
I'm not alone here, I am hearing the same complaints from many women. Women who are amazing and deserve to be treated with love and respect. Women who deserve to be treated like Goddesses, instead, we are all being treated like we are disposable and this needs to end. The issue here is how do we change men's attitudes. How do we get men to start wooing us again?
Step one, we need to stop making is easy for them. I am guilty of this, I'm not trying to look like a martyr here, but we need to stop giving in too early. Growing up I was taught if you play hard to get you are more likely to not only get the man, but find one who respects you. Somewhere along the way we all gave into the 3 date rule, that making them work for it meant we were too high maintenance. Too high maintenance??? Our dating rules need to go back to the way they were when we were growing up, we need to change the 3 date rule to the 3 month rule. A male friend of mine told me that if you make him wait 3 months, minimum, and he sticks around, it's because he is looking for love and is willing to make an effort. We all jump into things way too fast these days, and waiting, though sometimes hard, is exactly what we need to do. Waiting means wooing.
I want to stop feeling frustrated, I want to stop being disappointed and I want to finally meet someone who is going to make an effort and woo me. Otherwise I may be going back on strike again, this time permanently!
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