I'm a romantic. I always have been, however my idea of romance is stuck somewhere in a 1920's state of mind. In the last couple of months I have been back and forth on the whole dating thing, I decided to start dating again, quit, started again and now am considering going back on a dating strike. Why? Because the art of wooing and age of chivalry is dead!
The fact that men no longer seem to understand how to woo a woman is frustrating the hell out of me. If a man actually took the time to do things to get my attention and make an effort to impress me, I might actually want to date. Instead all I have been getting are men wanting to 'hook-up'. I swear to the Gods the next man that says that to me get's punched in the nads! I hate that term, HATE IT! What ever happened to sending flowers, nice dinners, sweet words and manners. I want to be wooed. I want to be taken on dates, I want a man to actually make the effort and show me that they are worth my time.
In the last month I have had two men from a year and a half ago suddenly re-appear. Back then, I went on a couple dates with both men, but ended it for different reasons. One of the reasons was that one of them had a girlfriend, which I discovered a few dates in. Apparently he still has a girlfriend, but was hoping I had somehow gotten amnesia in the last year and a half or conveniently forgot. Really? Really?
I've grown weary of constantly having men who are in relationships (married or otherwise), unavailable, or just not into being into a relationship making their 'moves' on me. Even those who are supposedly 'available' are frustrating me to no ends. I have to keep explaining how I'm not interested in a casual only relationship. What ever happened to the men who want to date because they are looking for a possible relationship, where are the men who are looking for love?
I'm not alone here, I am hearing the same complaints from many women. Women who are amazing and deserve to be treated with love and respect. Women who deserve to be treated like Goddesses, instead, we are all being treated like we are disposable and this needs to end. The issue here is how do we change men's attitudes. How do we get men to start wooing us again?
Step one, we need to stop making is easy for them. I am guilty of this, I'm not trying to look like a martyr here, but we need to stop giving in too early. Growing up I was taught if you play hard to get you are more likely to not only get the man, but find one who respects you. Somewhere along the way we all gave into the 3 date rule, that making them work for it meant we were too high maintenance. Too high maintenance??? Our dating rules need to go back to the way they were when we were growing up, we need to change the 3 date rule to the 3 month rule. A male friend of mine told me that if you make him wait 3 months, minimum, and he sticks around, it's because he is looking for love and is willing to make an effort. We all jump into things way too fast these days, and waiting, though sometimes hard, is exactly what we need to do. Waiting means wooing.
I want to stop feeling frustrated, I want to stop being disappointed and I want to finally meet someone who is going to make an effort and woo me. Otherwise I may be going back on strike again, this time permanently!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
100 Things I am going to do in 2010
Ok, February is 1/2 over, I should have posted this Jan 1, but am against Resolutions, this is different. It’s a fun list of things I want to do this year. I stole the idea from Salar! These are not in order of importance, just as they popped into my head. Some things I have never ever done and others I have but want to do again and have promised to do them this year!
As I do them I will update the list.
1 Learn to Salsa
2 Finish all 3 manuscripts
3 Get a book picked up for publication
4 Go to Scotland/England
5 Reach my goal weight and stay there
6 Learn how to make Vegan hot and sour soup
7 Go back on the Raw diet ~ started on Feb 14th ~ am 90% raw
8 Be 100% raw for 30 days straight ~ doing this in April - DOING THIS RIGHT NOW!!!
9 Learn a new skill ~ DONE
10 Sing Karaoke ~ am terrified to sing in front of people
11 Learn to Box
12 Return to freelance writing/editing full time
13 Go to the Opera
14 Go to the Ballet
15 See The Nutcracker
16 Day trip to Stratford
17 Spend an afternoon at the Distillery District
18 Be in a Zombie movie
19 Get my first tattoo
20 Stay off Facebook for 1 full week ~ did it for a month
21 Road trip to Niagara Falls and all the haunted attractions
22 Be able to do 100 push ups ~ maybe I should start with 10
23 Spend an entire day on the Island - DONE
24 Go on a 1950’s style picnic
25 Ride in a Hearse ~ while still alive
26 See an outdoor play
27 Tour the Bruce Caves with my Dad
28 Fall in Love
29 Hand write a love letter and have someone to send it to
30 Relearn Spanish
31 Relearn French
32 Learn to drive a stick shift
33 Go camping
34 Spend a weekend at a cottage
35 Visit the Ago
36 Visit the ROM ~DONE
37 Visit the Science Centre
38 Go to NYC for a weekend ~ I haven’t been in 9 years
39 Go on a car trip without a plan
40 Stay in a haunted Bed and Breakfast
41 Go on a paranormal investigation
42 Cut out processed food. ~ Already make about 80% of my own food
43 Do a dare ~DONE
44 Ask a boy out on a date ~ Done, I asked the wrong boy lol!
45 Have a 1950’s style dinner party - everyone has to come dressed up 1950’s, menu and Martini’s
46 Re-read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
47 Go Bowling
48 Take my sister to the Dakota
49 Do at least one thing I have never tried ~ skiing downhill, snowboarding, archery, stand on the glass floor of the CN tower.
50 Go horseback riding
51 Have an article published in a major publication
52 Have a short story published in an anthology
53 Publish an article/story in a Horror Magazine
54 Make a Halloween Advent Calendar
55 Hot yoga
56 Do a 30 day yoga challenge
57 Break 3 bad habits ~ one down (coffee), biting nails done, 1 more to go
58 Go to Shakespeare in High Park
59 Watch the sunrise, from a beach
60 Visit a province I’ve never been in
61 Go to a Carnival
62 Work at a haunt if even for one night, this halloween
63 Teach a non vegan how to make a vegan meal ~ DONE!
64 Have someone cook a meal for me - DONE
65 Teach Harley how to shake a paw ~ He did it once, that counts!
66 Eat at the CN tower
67 Take her parents to the CN tower
68 Visit Casa Loma
69 Find an excuse to wear my vintage dress. - DONE
70 Find a Vegan restaurant I’ve never been too - DONE
71 Have coffee with my secret crush ~ Done and what a let down. I built this person up to be something they weren't.
72 See my cousin Lisa!
73 Fit back into my Skinny Jeans!
74 Ride the Ferris Wheel with Anna - DONE
75 Carve my name in a tree
76 Spend a day in a spa
77 Spend and afternoon at Necropolis
78 Walk in the secret cemetery
79 Go to Trash Palace
80 Kiss a boy in Zombie make up
81 Spend a week in Wiarton
82 Go on a road trip with my parents
83 Have a girls weekend with my sister - sorta done
84 Go to a drive in movie
85 See Danzig
86 Have my tea leaves read
87 Buy a bike
88 ride the bike trails
89 Have a craft day with Michelle
90 Take a class - DONE
91 Finish off my writing to do list
92 Play guitar hero
93 Stop biting my nails - DONE
94 Spend Dec 25th having a second annual do nothing but watch Xmas themed horror movies day
95 Start running again - working on it!
96 Write a poem and read it out loud in front of people
97 Learn how to do a summersault.
98 Learn how to swear in another language - DONE
99 Stop procrastinating
100 Write this list for 2011 before Jan 1st
As I do them I will update the list.
1 Learn to Salsa
2 Finish all 3 manuscripts
3 Get a book picked up for publication
4 Go to Scotland/England
5 Reach my goal weight and stay there
6 Learn how to make Vegan hot and sour soup
7 Go back on the Raw diet ~ started on Feb 14th ~ am 90% raw
8 Be 100% raw for 30 days straight ~ doing this in April - DOING THIS RIGHT NOW!!!
9 Learn a new skill ~ DONE
10 Sing Karaoke ~ am terrified to sing in front of people
11 Learn to Box
12 Return to freelance writing/editing full time
13 Go to the Opera
14 Go to the Ballet
15 See The Nutcracker
16 Day trip to Stratford
17 Spend an afternoon at the Distillery District
18 Be in a Zombie movie
19 Get my first tattoo
20 Stay off Facebook for 1 full week ~ did it for a month
21 Road trip to Niagara Falls and all the haunted attractions
22 Be able to do 100 push ups ~ maybe I should start with 10
23 Spend an entire day on the Island - DONE
24 Go on a 1950’s style picnic
25 Ride in a Hearse ~ while still alive
26 See an outdoor play
27 Tour the Bruce Caves with my Dad
28 Fall in Love
29 Hand write a love letter and have someone to send it to
30 Relearn Spanish
31 Relearn French
32 Learn to drive a stick shift
33 Go camping
34 Spend a weekend at a cottage
35 Visit the Ago
36 Visit the ROM ~DONE
37 Visit the Science Centre
38 Go to NYC for a weekend ~ I haven’t been in 9 years
39 Go on a car trip without a plan
40 Stay in a haunted Bed and Breakfast
41 Go on a paranormal investigation
42 Cut out processed food. ~ Already make about 80% of my own food
43 Do a dare ~DONE
44 Ask a boy out on a date ~ Done, I asked the wrong boy lol!
45 Have a 1950’s style dinner party - everyone has to come dressed up 1950’s, menu and Martini’s
46 Re-read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
47 Go Bowling
48 Take my sister to the Dakota
49 Do at least one thing I have never tried ~ skiing downhill, snowboarding, archery, stand on the glass floor of the CN tower.
50 Go horseback riding
51 Have an article published in a major publication
52 Have a short story published in an anthology
53 Publish an article/story in a Horror Magazine
54 Make a Halloween Advent Calendar
55 Hot yoga
56 Do a 30 day yoga challenge
57 Break 3 bad habits ~ one down (coffee), biting nails done, 1 more to go
58 Go to Shakespeare in High Park
59 Watch the sunrise, from a beach
60 Visit a province I’ve never been in
61 Go to a Carnival
62 Work at a haunt if even for one night, this halloween
63 Teach a non vegan how to make a vegan meal ~ DONE!
64 Have someone cook a meal for me - DONE
65 Teach Harley how to shake a paw ~ He did it once, that counts!
66 Eat at the CN tower
67 Take her parents to the CN tower
68 Visit Casa Loma
69 Find an excuse to wear my vintage dress. - DONE
70 Find a Vegan restaurant I’ve never been too - DONE
71 Have coffee with my secret crush ~ Done and what a let down. I built this person up to be something they weren't.
72 See my cousin Lisa!
73 Fit back into my Skinny Jeans!
74 Ride the Ferris Wheel with Anna - DONE
75 Carve my name in a tree
76 Spend a day in a spa
77 Spend and afternoon at Necropolis
78 Walk in the secret cemetery
79 Go to Trash Palace
80 Kiss a boy in Zombie make up
81 Spend a week in Wiarton
82 Go on a road trip with my parents
83 Have a girls weekend with my sister - sorta done
84 Go to a drive in movie
85 See Danzig
86 Have my tea leaves read
87 Buy a bike
88 ride the bike trails
89 Have a craft day with Michelle
90 Take a class - DONE
91 Finish off my writing to do list
92 Play guitar hero
93 Stop biting my nails - DONE
94 Spend Dec 25th having a second annual do nothing but watch Xmas themed horror movies day
95 Start running again - working on it!
96 Write a poem and read it out loud in front of people
97 Learn how to do a summersault.
98 Learn how to swear in another language - DONE
99 Stop procrastinating
100 Write this list for 2011 before Jan 1st
Monday, February 15, 2010
Thank you Mae
Two of my favourite Mae West quotes. When I am feeling crappy about myself, I tend to lean on Mae to make me laugh. Quotes, movies or otherwise! She was a wise lady!
~Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
~A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.
~Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
~A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
The week I don't ever want to repeat again!
Every once in a while, after a shitty week, I will say I want a 'do over'. After the week I had... I want a 'never happen again' week. A combination of a health scare and a person showing their true colours to me, had me feeling incredibly low. When I start feeling sad and depressed, I tend to over think everything, this time around though, it put me in the headset that had me thinking hard about my future. We are only allowed a short period of time on this large rock and I'm not using my time wisely! Circumstances or people are usually around to remind me of this.
I stood back and took inventory of all the things I was doing to waste time. When I sat down and figured it out, I felt ill that I had been wasting hours of my time on Facebook. Hours that should be spent researching and writing, or having a life. I think everyone should do the same, take a look at how much time you are wasting on this 'social media'. It's not social at all, in fact it is turning us into a bunch of addicted hermits.
Every once in a while I am reminded by my peers that I'm good at what I do. In the midst of my hell week, I was once again reminded that I need get my arse moving and dedicate myself to my passion and love, I need to put my blinders on and finish my manuscripts. Having a potentially serious health issue come up made me realize I haven't been working hard enough and am slowly letting my dream slip away. Distractions such as people, who don't deserve to be in my life and facebook are the biggest of the two. So... I quit both cold turkey.
Wait, let me back up a bit. I didn't quit everyone, just someone who showed me who they really were. I spend way too much of my time trying to please others and never having them reciprocate, this can no longer happen. There was a point in my life where I wouldn't stand for anyone's bullshit. At some point in the last several years, I felt like I needed to be 'nicer', that I needed people to 'accept me'. I hate that person. I hate that I let others come first. I hate that I lost that girl who didn't give a shit if she pushed ahead in the line. I can't be that person any longer especially if I want to achieve these goals that I've set out for myself. I use to have balls and after some digging, I've found them again.
Though hard, quitting certain people and facebook is exactly what I needed to do to get back on track. Though the benefits of facebook (networking and knowing what events are going on) will be missed, I need to step away from it and having negative people in my life... only drags me down.
I never want to repeat last week ever again and if I stick to the new plan, I never will!
I stood back and took inventory of all the things I was doing to waste time. When I sat down and figured it out, I felt ill that I had been wasting hours of my time on Facebook. Hours that should be spent researching and writing, or having a life. I think everyone should do the same, take a look at how much time you are wasting on this 'social media'. It's not social at all, in fact it is turning us into a bunch of addicted hermits.
Every once in a while I am reminded by my peers that I'm good at what I do. In the midst of my hell week, I was once again reminded that I need get my arse moving and dedicate myself to my passion and love, I need to put my blinders on and finish my manuscripts. Having a potentially serious health issue come up made me realize I haven't been working hard enough and am slowly letting my dream slip away. Distractions such as people, who don't deserve to be in my life and facebook are the biggest of the two. So... I quit both cold turkey.
Wait, let me back up a bit. I didn't quit everyone, just someone who showed me who they really were. I spend way too much of my time trying to please others and never having them reciprocate, this can no longer happen. There was a point in my life where I wouldn't stand for anyone's bullshit. At some point in the last several years, I felt like I needed to be 'nicer', that I needed people to 'accept me'. I hate that person. I hate that I let others come first. I hate that I lost that girl who didn't give a shit if she pushed ahead in the line. I can't be that person any longer especially if I want to achieve these goals that I've set out for myself. I use to have balls and after some digging, I've found them again.
Though hard, quitting certain people and facebook is exactly what I needed to do to get back on track. Though the benefits of facebook (networking and knowing what events are going on) will be missed, I need to step away from it and having negative people in my life... only drags me down.
I never want to repeat last week ever again and if I stick to the new plan, I never will!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
New issue of lipstikindie.com
The new issue of http://www.lipstikindie is live with reviews on designers/artists; Vapidus Designs and Designer Metal Taboo, Music reviews for Ben Rusch, Dan Web, Athena Reich, book reviews for, Temporary Monsters by Ian Rogers, Dirty Little Angels by Chris Tusa and comic book reviews for The Middle Man by Javier Grillo-Marxuach and Hans Beimler and The Return of King Doug by Greg Erb and Jason Oremland.
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