What if Edison gave up?

The last two weeks have been the busiest two weeks I've experienced in a very long time. They have also been the most stressful. You see, I'm a writer, trying to get freelance work to help support myself while writing my books. The last two weeks have been researching, updating and sending out my resume. I made a promise to myself to send a few out every day and I have been. Due to our economy I am worried that I won't find enough work to keep me afloat. Stress has led to depression, depression led to a panic attack.

I keep everything to myself that relates to money matters. Pride never allows me to ask for help, plus in a crunch I always figure out a way. I will this time as well, I know I will. Part of what I've been struggling with is I know I am going to have to start temping to help pay for rent and bills. Temping is brilliant, you work when and where you want, allowing me time to still write at the rate I have been, but pride is keeping me from doing it. This has been stressing me out so much that I recently asked a friend, who is in the industry, if I could talk to him, find out how he got to the place he is now, a published author and editor who does both full time and lives comfortably doing so. It was the best four hours I've spent in a long time.

It just so happens that two years ago my friend was in the same spot I am now. Struggling to make ends me, looking for work, trying to get a book done and depressed as hell. Many of his friends did not understanding his desire and passion to live out his dream and pride so strong he didn't want to take part time jobs to support himself, but worst of all friends continually telling him that he would never succeed as a writer, simply because they didn't. When he finished telling me this, he asked, 'sound familiar?' What he had to say to me didn't end there.

He asked me what I had been doing all year. I told him and though harsh, his words to me were the kick in the ass I needed. He told me that I'm a talented writer, but I'm not trying hard enough. He gave me a list of things to do and words of wisdom on how to succeed. I've written everything he said to me out and pasted it beside my computer. I bolded and capitalized two very important things he said to me. One is at the top of my list, the other at the bottom:

STOP WORRYING ABOUT LETTING OTHERS DOWN, WORRY ABOUT LETTING YOURSELF DOWN

and

EAT, SLEEP, BREATH WHAT YOU WRITE!!! STICK TO YOUR GOALS AND NEVER LET THE NEGATIVE VOICES STOP YOU.

As I said it was a four hour conversation. At first I walked away taking in everything he had said to me and tried to make sense of it all. Sadly, later in the day, I had someone throw incredibly negative words at me, I came home, had a melt down and then almost threw in the towel. I didn't, because these words kept resonating in my head over and over again. What if Thomas Edison gave up? People told him over and over again that his ideas were foolish, that he was setting himself up for a huge failure and disappointment. What if Edison listened to all those negative naysayers... well, you'd likely still be reading by candle light. Ya, I know, sounds a little extreme, but that man is the reason for many of today's innovations and proof that following ones dreams are not foolish.

Am I hungry enough, determined enough? I am! I've dreamed of this my entire life and in the past have let too many negative, bitter people interfere with my progress. I'm not going to allow that any longer. Today I started from scratch, I have a schedule and list beside me and I'm not only sticking to that, I am sticking to my dreams, naysayers be damned.