The last few days, I've felt this... dark hole opening up again. I feel like I am spiraling back down into no man's land... a purgatory of sorts. I sat here last night trying to figure out why, I tried comfort food (waffles), I tried watching movies, I even tried my old fall back, Jimmy Stewart. Nothing seems to have worked. I don't like this at all, I especially don't like the person I become, though a sure benefit is I tend to do my best writing when I'm in the place.
There is a combination of things that happened to put me here, insomnia is a part of it, but not in whole. I'm also my own worst enemy because I let myself get to this point by not speaking up or out, by letting things go when I shouldn't, grin and act like everything is fine when it's not and this is all completely avoidable, yet... here I am once again... I know this sounds like whining, woe always me, and if it does, so be it. So what's to be done? I will disappear into my own world for a while, write, watch movies and eat waffles.
Somewhere along the line I will will pull out my Jimmy Stewart, because what I really need right now, is a Jimmy Stewart in my life, but for now I guess I will have to settle for the one in my DVD collection.
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