Guest Writer
Oneal Walters - Poetry
WHAT'S NEW
Carolina's Bytch - The Baffling Events That Single Women Everywhere Have To Endure
I had an awesome conversation last night with the amazing and talented Kim. I've had a couple rough days, partly due to my own inner demons, partly due some incredibly hurtful things that were said to me. After the conversation, I was able to shake that last bit of crabbiness that was still lingering around.
Heather Wood - SAVED BY THE SUMMER BELL
Well, we're not having a summer election after all. Our barbecues and patio gatherings are safe from annoying interruptions by party canvassers and political campaign calls. More importantly, we now have more time to tackle an on-going problem – the lack of female representation in Parliament.
Pixie Says - Ask the Japanese government to ban video-game rape simulators pt. 2
So my previous post about the Equality Now campaign to ban rape-simulator video games in Japan provoked some discussion on Facebook. One of my friends countered that fantasy is a space that should not be policed: as a feminist, I agree with him, which got me thinking that...
Romy Shiller - POP goes the TEEN
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. ~ Fran Lebowitz
Simply skimming. Images of youth in popular culture. Not Toddlers and Tiaras (2009) about toddler beauty pageants, which makes me sick or the 20-something hot bods in the new Star Trek (2009), I am such a Cougar - "an older woman who sexually pursues men at least eight years her junior."(Wikipedia) I am discussing teenagers and tweens - "the stage between middle childhood and adolescence in human development, generally in the age range of 10 to 12 years of age." (Wikipedia).
and
Romy Shiller - LETTER TO THE EDITOR: MS. MAGAZINE FEATURING BARACK OBAMA ON THE COVER OF Issue: WINTER 2009
According to the book Third Wave Feminism and Television: Jane Puts it in a Box by the head of women's studies at South-Carolina U., Merri Lisa Johnson, I'm a third wave feminist.
Viki Ackland - End of the Road
I am not really a girly girl. Like a lot of my friends and peers I am independent, self assured and have a rather high opinion of my worth. I have a clear idea of what I deserve, what I want, and what I will not tolerate, and the only rare time my Libra self gets out of balance is when one of those equations are missing.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The Baffling Events That Single Women Everywhere Have To Endure
I had an awesome conversation last night with the amazing and talented Kim. I’ve had a couple rough days, partly due to my own inner demons, partly due some incredibly hurtful things that were said to me. After the conversation, I was able to shake that last bit of crabbiness that was still lingering around. Kim reminded me that we have a purpose and nothing, not even peoples stupid words should affect how I feel about myself.
Single, Independent, Strong
When I was 18 I moved away from home. Since then I’ve looked after myself. I’ve always been a very independent, self reliant single female. {with the exception of one long term relationship, in which I was still looking after myself} I’m not going to lie and say I don’t need to have companionship. Hell, I would love to meet that one person who does it for me on all levels. Who wouldn’t? After having two crappy crappy relationships in a row, along with too many jerks in between, I’ve started to wonder if that is even possible and come this July it will be exactly 1 year since I’ve dated. {as I keep telling everyone, I’m on strike till conditions improve, obviously they haven’t}
Embracing your single woman status comes with bonuses, such as freedom and the comfort of knowing that you only answer to you. The not so pleasant flip side of this though, are the BS conversations we have to put up with. The majority of the time it will be ignorant people making lame attempts to hurt your feelings. Occasionally it is people who are ‘concerned’ and feel that all women should be in relationships {even when their own are less than satisfactory}. The first conversation was one I had just a few days ago {and part of what spawned this whole entry}, the rest have happened over time.
“Where is your date?”
“Date?”
“But, it’s Friday night.”
“So.”
“You should be on a date.”
“It’s hard to be on a date if no one asks.”
“Oh come on, I’m sure someone has asked recently.”
“No, not really, no.”
“Well, you are kind of intimidating. You might want to try being nicer.” {fyi, this conversation was with a man, who has a girlfriend, and he was staring at my breasts for most of the evening}
“You know what, you can just bite me.”
What’s the deal with marriage anyway... or questions I’ve had to put up with since I was 21...
“When do you plan on getting married?”
“I’m single.”
“I know, when do you plan on getting married?”
{this usually goes on for a while, like the ‘whose on third’ Abbott and Costello routine, it either ends with me considering banging my head on cement till I’m in a coma or drinking}
Visual aide - Woman your own age is looking at you like you just farted.
“Still single I see.”
{to some being single equates to leprosy or some similar disease}
“Oh you poor thing, being single must be so lonely.”
“Well, at least you have your dogs to keep you company.”
A Mother’s Love
Occasionally mother’s of single women have to endure stupid questions. My Mother is my biggest champion, never taking any guff and telling people to either mind their own business or now her latest “My daughter doesn’t need a man.” Of course that occasionally backfires on her...
These are just a few questions that she has had to deal with and I love her to pieces for voicing out!
“Is you daughter ever getting married?”
or
“What’s wrong with your oldest daughter? All of your other children are either married or have kids?”
“She doesn’t need to.”
“Is your daughter gay?”
“Even if she was it’s none of your business.”
“Shouldn’t she be married by now?”
“Who says she needs to be married?”
I was told my Mother has even taken to cursing at people....
Lets take a moment to think about this, if my own Mother doesn’t worry about me being on my own, why is it so disconcerting to the rest of you? Why is such a biggie for a woman to be single? Rather than ridicule us, or be concerned for us, why not do what the rest of us do. Be proud of us. We are strong, independent women and if you don’t stop picking on us, I’m sending my mother after you.
Single, Independent, Strong
When I was 18 I moved away from home. Since then I’ve looked after myself. I’ve always been a very independent, self reliant single female. {with the exception of one long term relationship, in which I was still looking after myself} I’m not going to lie and say I don’t need to have companionship. Hell, I would love to meet that one person who does it for me on all levels. Who wouldn’t? After having two crappy crappy relationships in a row, along with too many jerks in between, I’ve started to wonder if that is even possible and come this July it will be exactly 1 year since I’ve dated. {as I keep telling everyone, I’m on strike till conditions improve, obviously they haven’t}
Embracing your single woman status comes with bonuses, such as freedom and the comfort of knowing that you only answer to you. The not so pleasant flip side of this though, are the BS conversations we have to put up with. The majority of the time it will be ignorant people making lame attempts to hurt your feelings. Occasionally it is people who are ‘concerned’ and feel that all women should be in relationships {even when their own are less than satisfactory}. The first conversation was one I had just a few days ago {and part of what spawned this whole entry}, the rest have happened over time.
“Where is your date?”
“Date?”
“But, it’s Friday night.”
“So.”
“You should be on a date.”
“It’s hard to be on a date if no one asks.”
“Oh come on, I’m sure someone has asked recently.”
“No, not really, no.”
“Well, you are kind of intimidating. You might want to try being nicer.” {fyi, this conversation was with a man, who has a girlfriend, and he was staring at my breasts for most of the evening}
“You know what, you can just bite me.”
What’s the deal with marriage anyway... or questions I’ve had to put up with since I was 21...
“When do you plan on getting married?”
“I’m single.”
“I know, when do you plan on getting married?”
{this usually goes on for a while, like the ‘whose on third’ Abbott and Costello routine, it either ends with me considering banging my head on cement till I’m in a coma or drinking}
Visual aide - Woman your own age is looking at you like you just farted.
“Still single I see.”
{to some being single equates to leprosy or some similar disease}
“Oh you poor thing, being single must be so lonely.”
“Well, at least you have your dogs to keep you company.”
A Mother’s Love
Occasionally mother’s of single women have to endure stupid questions. My Mother is my biggest champion, never taking any guff and telling people to either mind their own business or now her latest “My daughter doesn’t need a man.” Of course that occasionally backfires on her...
These are just a few questions that she has had to deal with and I love her to pieces for voicing out!
“Is you daughter ever getting married?”
or
“What’s wrong with your oldest daughter? All of your other children are either married or have kids?”
“She doesn’t need to.”
“Is your daughter gay?”
“Even if she was it’s none of your business.”
“Shouldn’t she be married by now?”
“Who says she needs to be married?”
I was told my Mother has even taken to cursing at people....
Lets take a moment to think about this, if my own Mother doesn’t worry about me being on my own, why is it so disconcerting to the rest of you? Why is such a biggie for a woman to be single? Rather than ridicule us, or be concerned for us, why not do what the rest of us do. Be proud of us. We are strong, independent women and if you don’t stop picking on us, I’m sending my mother after you.
Monday, June 1, 2009
New issue is alive!!!
Happy June 1st everyone. Even though we still don't have the summer temperatures we are all wanting, this months issue of Lipstik Indie (www.lipstikindie.com) should heat things up! This is what we have in store for you:
Featured Artist - Jeff Cottrill (carolina smart)
Books - Garbageman by Joseph D'lacey (carolina smart), Raincloud by Richard S. Todd (cathy petch)
Bands - Skulls (Misfit Tribute Artists) (carolina smart), The Populars (nik beat)
eZine/store - Herbivore (laura roberts)
Movie - Still We Ride (matt gilbert)
Music Artists - Gary Beals (devon jones), Bendicion (nik beat), A.K.A. Subliminal (devon jones)
Featured Artist - Jeff Cottrill (carolina smart)
Books - Garbageman by Joseph D'lacey (carolina smart), Raincloud by Richard S. Todd (cathy petch)
Bands - Skulls (Misfit Tribute Artists) (carolina smart), The Populars (nik beat)
eZine/store - Herbivore (laura roberts)
Movie - Still We Ride (matt gilbert)
Music Artists - Gary Beals (devon jones), Bendicion (nik beat), A.K.A. Subliminal (devon jones)
Monday, May 25, 2009
New Issue of Shebytches.com is alive!!!
Hey Everyone! The new issue of Shebytches is alive. Please swing on over to www.shebytches.com to check it out. Below is what is hot off the presses!
GUEST WRITER
Oneal Walters - Poetry - Picture of Love, Untitled, Can’t Find Love In Arguing (The Age Begins)
WHAT'S NEW
Carolina's - Bytch Two Journeys - I am about to start two very different journeys; one involves a possible move and the other a four-legged ten-year-old fur ball. Both are going to be tough and likely expensive, but one won't stop the other from happening or vice versa.
Cindyloohoo So long fat girl! - After a lifetime of being overweight (and many years of being "morbidly obese"), I decided last year to get rid of this massive chip on my shoulder (and off my ass) and have gastric bypass surgery. Nine months later and I feel great.
Nancy Drew - "On Living Bravely" - I was at Moonbean Café the other day with a friend whose life is going really well. She just moved out of her parent’s house after living with them for three years while in school for naturopathic medicine. It was a grueling three years.
Heather Wood - I've read this story before - Much as I like to claim that I am only 29, I was actually born in the "Swinging Sixties"—that progressive era when it was perfectly acceptable to fire a woman just for being pregnant.
Pixie Says - Stand Up for Judy Blume -- and, while I have your attention, ask the Japanese government to ban video-game rape simulators - When I was 13, I was hauled up before the headmistress at my school because some of my friends' parents had found them reading my copy of Judy Blume's legendary novel Forever (with the *important* pages dog-eared, of course).
Romy Shiller - People seem to abhor ‘difference’ - I was so mad when Adam Lambert didn’t win American Idol (2009). It is just a TV show but it says a hell of a lot. He wears nail polish, eyeliner, some people say he is gay and he is called by the show a “glam rocker.”
GUEST WRITER
Oneal Walters - Poetry - Picture of Love, Untitled, Can’t Find Love In Arguing (The Age Begins)
WHAT'S NEW
Carolina's - Bytch Two Journeys - I am about to start two very different journeys; one involves a possible move and the other a four-legged ten-year-old fur ball. Both are going to be tough and likely expensive, but one won't stop the other from happening or vice versa.
Cindyloohoo So long fat girl! - After a lifetime of being overweight (and many years of being "morbidly obese"), I decided last year to get rid of this massive chip on my shoulder (and off my ass) and have gastric bypass surgery. Nine months later and I feel great.
Nancy Drew - "On Living Bravely" - I was at Moonbean Café the other day with a friend whose life is going really well. She just moved out of her parent’s house after living with them for three years while in school for naturopathic medicine. It was a grueling three years.
Heather Wood - I've read this story before - Much as I like to claim that I am only 29, I was actually born in the "Swinging Sixties"—that progressive era when it was perfectly acceptable to fire a woman just for being pregnant.
Pixie Says - Stand Up for Judy Blume -- and, while I have your attention, ask the Japanese government to ban video-game rape simulators - When I was 13, I was hauled up before the headmistress at my school because some of my friends' parents had found them reading my copy of Judy Blume's legendary novel Forever (with the *important* pages dog-eared, of course).
Romy Shiller - People seem to abhor ‘difference’ - I was so mad when Adam Lambert didn’t win American Idol (2009). It is just a TV show but it says a hell of a lot. He wears nail polish, eyeliner, some people say he is gay and he is called by the show a “glam rocker.”
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Is the strike finally over?
I made a decision today to start doing something again that I promised myself I wouldn't. No, I'm not taking up smoking or eating meat again. Against my better judgment, I decided to... deep breath, wait for it... start dating again. Yikes. Is this a good idea? I guess I'm about to find out.
It's been a while since I've been on a date. I stopped dating early last summer. I decided to stop because after one horrendous misadventure after another, I had become discouraged with what options were available to me. I also found that I had stopped dating my 'type', simply because I thought that was the issue. After talking it out with a friend and thinking out loud A LOT over the last few days... it's not the 'type' that is the problem, it was the type of men I was dating.
I like artsy, edgy, tattooed, rock and roll loving, outgoing men. I use to date this type all the time and had a blast. One day, and I wish I new what the hell I was thinking, I decided I needed to start going on grown up dates, date men with 'good' jobs and a future. Grown up dates? 'Good' jobs? What the hell! Not to worry, it was just a phase and that phase is OVER.
In life we are drawn to certain things for a reason. They fit with our personalities and our lifestyles. I realized how much I missed the type of guy I use to date when I went with a friend to a ball... I was dressed to the nines, in pain due to my bling shoes, attempting to see if there were any potential, grown up men in the crowd... I looked around and all night long my line of vision kept going to the same person. My 'type' was there with his girlfriend, and every time I glanced over at him I got a pang of nostalgia. I went home, peeled off the terrible shoes I was wearing and made a promise that I was NEVER going to go against type again. I'm attracted to that kind of man for a reason. That reason is called 'having something in common'.
This girl is a horror loving, zombie knowing, writer, sucker for animals, who does too much for others and never asks for anything back. I like edgy boys with tattoos, was a punk rock, goth music loving, black wearing kid growing up, who never fit in. So why the hell am I trying to fit in with the wrong type of people now? I have a crowd of ghouls that I belong to and it's time that I get back to where I belong.
Yes, I am going to start dating again. I am going to go back to my picky ways, dating only my 'type'. This time around though, I am going to be tougher. I want to find someone who wants to be with me for who I am and not for what they can get from me. I maybe re-entering a world that I really didn't' like the first twenty times around, but at least it gives me great fodder, not to mention a creative outlet I can use in my stories.
I am about to dive back in again... wish me luck... I forgot to attach my safety rope... again...
addendum:
After much consideration, and lack of inspiration by what has been offered up to me of late, I'm back on strike. I know, I know, that sure didn't last long. It isn't due to impatience, it is due to all that is out there is the same ole, same ole all wanting the same things. I'm just not up for it and lack the energy to continually have to explain myself. So, it's just easier to say, 'I'm on strike, till conditions improve.' I just don't see the strike ending any time soon...
It's been a while since I've been on a date. I stopped dating early last summer. I decided to stop because after one horrendous misadventure after another, I had become discouraged with what options were available to me. I also found that I had stopped dating my 'type', simply because I thought that was the issue. After talking it out with a friend and thinking out loud A LOT over the last few days... it's not the 'type' that is the problem, it was the type of men I was dating.
I like artsy, edgy, tattooed, rock and roll loving, outgoing men. I use to date this type all the time and had a blast. One day, and I wish I new what the hell I was thinking, I decided I needed to start going on grown up dates, date men with 'good' jobs and a future. Grown up dates? 'Good' jobs? What the hell! Not to worry, it was just a phase and that phase is OVER.
In life we are drawn to certain things for a reason. They fit with our personalities and our lifestyles. I realized how much I missed the type of guy I use to date when I went with a friend to a ball... I was dressed to the nines, in pain due to my bling shoes, attempting to see if there were any potential, grown up men in the crowd... I looked around and all night long my line of vision kept going to the same person. My 'type' was there with his girlfriend, and every time I glanced over at him I got a pang of nostalgia. I went home, peeled off the terrible shoes I was wearing and made a promise that I was NEVER going to go against type again. I'm attracted to that kind of man for a reason. That reason is called 'having something in common'.
This girl is a horror loving, zombie knowing, writer, sucker for animals, who does too much for others and never asks for anything back. I like edgy boys with tattoos, was a punk rock, goth music loving, black wearing kid growing up, who never fit in. So why the hell am I trying to fit in with the wrong type of people now? I have a crowd of ghouls that I belong to and it's time that I get back to where I belong.
Yes, I am going to start dating again. I am going to go back to my picky ways, dating only my 'type'. This time around though, I am going to be tougher. I want to find someone who wants to be with me for who I am and not for what they can get from me. I maybe re-entering a world that I really didn't' like the first twenty times around, but at least it gives me great fodder, not to mention a creative outlet I can use in my stories.
I am about to dive back in again... wish me luck... I forgot to attach my safety rope... again...
addendum:
After much consideration, and lack of inspiration by what has been offered up to me of late, I'm back on strike. I know, I know, that sure didn't last long. It isn't due to impatience, it is due to all that is out there is the same ole, same ole all wanting the same things. I'm just not up for it and lack the energy to continually have to explain myself. So, it's just easier to say, 'I'm on strike, till conditions improve.' I just don't see the strike ending any time soon...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The Journey Begins
I am about to start two very different journeys, one involves a possible move and the other a four legged 10 year old fur ball. Both are going to be tough and likely expensive, but one won't stop the other from happening or vice versa.
Today my dogs vet confirmed that my little blondie boy indeed has Cushings. For those who are unfamiliar with the illness it affects humans, dogs and horses. Believe it or not, dogs and horses have many of the same illnesses as humans.
Cushing's disease (hyperadrenocorticism) is a condition that results from the chronic overproduction of too much glucocorticoid in the body. In the normal dog, the pituitary gland produces a hormone called ACTH, which stimulates the adrenal gland to produce the steroid hormone glucocorticoid necessary for the function of many systems in the body. If something goes wrong in the pituitary gland or adrenal gland and too much glucocorticoid is produced, then Cushing's disease develops. This is a very complicated disease with a wide range of symptoms and causes. This article will try to give a concise description of the disease, its symptoms, how it is diagnosed, and its treatment.(for more info please go here
The little guy was subjected to a bunch of tests last week and this friday even more. A days worth actually. So far he hasn't shown any symptoms so I am hoping he is early enough into the disease that I won't yet have to subject him to hoards of meds. It also means I will have him around much longer!
This news, though it stresses me out and makes me really, really sad, isn't affecting my plans to potentially move to New York City. I am still continuing on. It won't make a difference if he is sick there or here. What matters is that he gets the best care I can possibly give him.
The thoughts of my 4 legged blondie being sick, makes me... ill to my stomach. He is adorable, loving, sweet and never complains. Every morning after my female dog mauls me while licking my face and demanding all my attention, he patiently waits, belly exposed to get his morning belly rub. How is it that such good dog ends up with such a shitty disease.
In his case, rather both my dogs cases, they have me. Many call me a sucker, but they don't understand the unconditional love of dogs. They call me sucker because to them dogs are dogs and who is insane enough to spend thousands of dollars on vet bills to keep them happy? Me that is who. On many occasions I make sacrifices if they need medical attention. They are my responsibility, when you become a pet owner you have made that unconditional promise to your four legged friend. Many choose another route, preferring to put their animals to sleep rather than care for a pet. I could never be that kind of a person.
When I was a teenager I was considering becoming a Veterinarian, but when I realized one of the responsibilities was to put down a sick animal, I deferred. I knew I would never have that in me.
I've started to do my homework, reading everything I can find on Cushings so I understand what is ahead and what signs to look for. This isn't going to be fun or easy but, my life has never been easy. I am constantly being tested, but like all the other tests I've passed with flying colours, this is just another that I will figure out all the answers to.
Two different journeys and one fearless journey woman! Let the adventures begin!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
New York City Here I come?
For some time now I've been considering moving to New York City. It's been a dream of mine since I was a child. I've been living in Toronto since I was 18 and I feel that I want to spend the next phase of my life in The Big Apple. I know there are lots of recently transplanted Canadians out there and am hoping some of you would be willing to pass on to me information on what you had to do to move to the US. (Process/contacts etc)
The funny thing is when I tell people what I want to do they go on and on about how hard it will be for me. They never bring up the expense of moving, no their concern is I won't know anyone. When I moved to Toronto, I didn't know anyone then either. Being a loner, not knowing people doesn't worry me, eventually I will meet people. I think it takes a certain type of personality to be able to pick up and go and well, that would be me and considering everything that is going on in my life right now, it is definitely time for this girl to pick up and move her ass outta here!
The funny thing is when I tell people what I want to do they go on and on about how hard it will be for me. They never bring up the expense of moving, no their concern is I won't know anyone. When I moved to Toronto, I didn't know anyone then either. Being a loner, not knowing people doesn't worry me, eventually I will meet people. I think it takes a certain type of personality to be able to pick up and go and well, that would be me and considering everything that is going on in my life right now, it is definitely time for this girl to pick up and move her ass outta here!
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