I have this at the bottom of my blog. It's a fun little widget. I decided to see if I was compatible with myself... um... apparently I'm not.. I think I am going to have the talk with myself.. but.. who has to move out...
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
the day of the high and the low and awaiting the rift to open up...
I'm working on a short story about something that happened to me as a child. A nightmarish time spent at summer camp. I've decided to turn it into a tale of horror, because what happened during that visit to camp in reality was pretty damn close. I tend to write better when I am angry or sad as I am able to use those emotions to develop story lines that need to be dark... I am trying very, very hard to concentrate and get the rest of the outline written, but all I've been doing is shaking my head.
Two things happened today, both dealing with men but both completely different extremes. The first, which was the emotional dark attitude I needed to be pushed into this morning was, one mans attitude towards me. Making me feel used and disposable.. a convenience shall we say. It made me angry, very angry. I was using this anger in positive manner, if that makes any sense, then a few hours later something happened to change that.
The first man to ever break my heart, apologized to me. Now, it's been years! YEARS since it happened, but... he apologized. I was at a point where I thought I had lost all faith, that there wasn't even one decent man left out there. I had actually convinced myself of this, then one sentence changed that. Turns out, not all men are jerks. It is the first and likely the last man who will ever apologize to me (and the God's know there are many who should be but...). Well, at least and possibly 3 men out of how many billions, that may not be jerks... Ok, it's a start.
However, this is one of those things that.. well.. because of the extreme shift in emotions that happened... could possibly cause a tear or a rift in the universe. I'm sitting here waiting for that door to open, for me to realize I am actually in an alternate dimension... like the Twilight Zone....
Two things happened today, both dealing with men but both completely different extremes. The first, which was the emotional dark attitude I needed to be pushed into this morning was, one mans attitude towards me. Making me feel used and disposable.. a convenience shall we say. It made me angry, very angry. I was using this anger in positive manner, if that makes any sense, then a few hours later something happened to change that.
The first man to ever break my heart, apologized to me. Now, it's been years! YEARS since it happened, but... he apologized. I was at a point where I thought I had lost all faith, that there wasn't even one decent man left out there. I had actually convinced myself of this, then one sentence changed that. Turns out, not all men are jerks. It is the first and likely the last man who will ever apologize to me (and the God's know there are many who should be but...). Well, at least and possibly 3 men out of how many billions, that may not be jerks... Ok, it's a start.
However, this is one of those things that.. well.. because of the extreme shift in emotions that happened... could possibly cause a tear or a rift in the universe. I'm sitting here waiting for that door to open, for me to realize I am actually in an alternate dimension... like the Twilight Zone....
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
My wii Fit and I are fighting today
I should be proud of myself. I am day 14 with my wii Fit (only taking one day off) and have lost 6 lbs so far. I would have to say that is pretty damn amazing. Then I stepped on Mr. wii Fit (yes I attribute the machine to a male) and... I gained 2 lbs. 2lbs? How is that possible. How in one day could I gain 2 lbs? I replayed yesterday's events in my head. I worked out, barely ate anything and was running around all afternoon... shouldn't I have lost 2 lbs...
I am very, very confused. I checked to make sure the clothing I have been wearing when getting weighed is the same. Check. Empty stomach. Check. Went over what I did again in my head yesterday. Check. I even did more aerobic than strength training. Check.... So... why did I gain weight? Mr wii Fit even asked me similar questions and when I replied I didn't know why I gained 2 lbs, he ... asked me.. "Are you sure you don't know the answer to that question?" I am already super self conscious right now. I gained weight due to be immobile for 2 months (sprained knee) and am working my ass off (literally) to lose that weight and get back into shape. Having a stupid computer talk down to me isn't helping right now.
So... what am I going to do.. I am going to go and beat up the boxing guy.
oh.. and...
Mr. wii Fit... Your a jerk!!!
I am very, very confused. I checked to make sure the clothing I have been wearing when getting weighed is the same. Check. Empty stomach. Check. Went over what I did again in my head yesterday. Check. I even did more aerobic than strength training. Check.... So... why did I gain weight? Mr wii Fit even asked me similar questions and when I replied I didn't know why I gained 2 lbs, he ... asked me.. "Are you sure you don't know the answer to that question?" I am already super self conscious right now. I gained weight due to be immobile for 2 months (sprained knee) and am working my ass off (literally) to lose that weight and get back into shape. Having a stupid computer talk down to me isn't helping right now.
So... what am I going to do.. I am going to go and beat up the boxing guy.
oh.. and...
Mr. wii Fit... Your a jerk!!!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
TV or not TV...
That is the question...
Ya, ya... ripping off Shakespeare AGAIN...
Am currently debating if I should cancel my cable.. or at least cut it down to basic. I almost never watch it and when I do, it's always the same 4 channels... cp24 (I can get this on the web), spike (and only to watch csi... which i can get on dvd), showcase (all of which i can get on dvd) and scream....
I haven't even had the cable on in the last month, other than last sunday morning when the propane explosion happened. Instead, I've been writing, listening to music, or watching DVD's. I've lost all interest in cable otherwise... literally a thousand channels and nothing on.
I also need to start considering finances and cutting out the unnecessary expenses... me thinks ... cable will be the first pound of flesh to go...
Ya, ya... ripping off Shakespeare AGAIN...
Am currently debating if I should cancel my cable.. or at least cut it down to basic. I almost never watch it and when I do, it's always the same 4 channels... cp24 (I can get this on the web), spike (and only to watch csi... which i can get on dvd), showcase (all of which i can get on dvd) and scream....
I haven't even had the cable on in the last month, other than last sunday morning when the propane explosion happened. Instead, I've been writing, listening to music, or watching DVD's. I've lost all interest in cable otherwise... literally a thousand channels and nothing on.
I also need to start considering finances and cutting out the unnecessary expenses... me thinks ... cable will be the first pound of flesh to go...
Thursday, August 7, 2008
wii Fit... the angry personal trainer...
I'm currently on a mission to lose some weight and get back into shape. A few months ago I sprained my knee while running and was basically a couch potato for 2 months because of it. During this time, I gained some weight and I am NOT happy about it. So.. the mission begins. About 2 weeks ago I started to work my way back to being a Raw Vegan (eating approx. 90% raw food) and for the month of August I'm trying to stick to 100% raw. I'm not going raw to lose weight, that is just a benefit from it (some are worried I will lose my booty in the process... no worries there, I will ALWAYS have a booty). A raw diet is to ensure my health is always at it's best. In order to lose weight and keep it off, I need to work out. So work out I will.
I had to make a choice, do I renew my gym membership or get a wii fit unit. Financially the cost for either equals out. I weighed the pros and cons and the wii fit came out on top. It isn't out of site so it won't be out of mind. I have no excuses this way. I have also talked to a few people who own the wii fit and they not only are losing weight and getting in shape but, they are having fun with it. Fun for me is important, if I get bored... I'm done. I was also warned about it's personality...
Personality? Yes, the wii fit has a personality. This is the drill sergeant fitness trainer of the gaming system world. Don't get me wrong here, it helps to motivate you, tells you when you are doing something well, but.. forget a day or stop part way through a segment... YIKES! It berates you. NO, I am NOT exaggerating here. It actually makes you feel guilty. I missed one day... ONE day and it actually asked me if I was 'Too Busy' to find the time to work out. Not just that, but... I need to build my upper body strength. I had to stop part way through push-ups... that or smash my face into the balance board... and it heckled me for taking a break and told me that my upper body isn't strong enough to do the exercise... but keep trying... I felt like a 10 year old getting in trouble for having her hand in the cookie jar...
I know I will stick to this... I have to.. I'm afraid if I miss any days... well... my wii will videodrome itself... wait.. that just gave me an idea for a short story....
off to work out... so I don't get yelled at.
I had to make a choice, do I renew my gym membership or get a wii fit unit. Financially the cost for either equals out. I weighed the pros and cons and the wii fit came out on top. It isn't out of site so it won't be out of mind. I have no excuses this way. I have also talked to a few people who own the wii fit and they not only are losing weight and getting in shape but, they are having fun with it. Fun for me is important, if I get bored... I'm done. I was also warned about it's personality...
Personality? Yes, the wii fit has a personality. This is the drill sergeant fitness trainer of the gaming system world. Don't get me wrong here, it helps to motivate you, tells you when you are doing something well, but.. forget a day or stop part way through a segment... YIKES! It berates you. NO, I am NOT exaggerating here. It actually makes you feel guilty. I missed one day... ONE day and it actually asked me if I was 'Too Busy' to find the time to work out. Not just that, but... I need to build my upper body strength. I had to stop part way through push-ups... that or smash my face into the balance board... and it heckled me for taking a break and told me that my upper body isn't strong enough to do the exercise... but keep trying... I felt like a 10 year old getting in trouble for having her hand in the cookie jar...
I know I will stick to this... I have to.. I'm afraid if I miss any days... well... my wii will videodrome itself... wait.. that just gave me an idea for a short story....
off to work out... so I don't get yelled at.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
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