Out with the old... in with the new

I've started a new blog. Time for a fresh new look to go with my fresh new life!

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http://carolinasmart.tumblr.com/

What does this mean?

Two nights ago, I had a very short yet very vivid dream. There were 3 birds sitting on the hood of the car. I walked up to them and they didn't fly off, I extended my hand and it was full of bird seed, which the birds proceeded to eat. The birds were Red (I think a Cardinal), second was bright orange and the third was smaller, orange with a black stripe on it's wing and red underneath.

Any dream experts out there, that might know what it means?

Another day in paradise.... NOT

I'm sitting here, trying to work on movie short ideas. I had a brilliant flow going when....

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

That's right folks... another fire alarm. The building I live in has monthly fire alarms tests weekly... and constant false alarms. I don't even bother trying to find out if there is an actual fire anymore.

So... what will the next few hours entail for me. Calming down my noise sensitive pooch. Trying to get my flow back and attempting to get the constant ringing out of my head. I'm looking to move, but am hoping to wait till June. I am currently inspired to move NOW!

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Goddess please give the strength to NOT rip the fire alarm speaker off the wall...

Video: Monsters in the Making

Video: Monsters in the Making

Time to move...

I've got that need to move itch... Though I don't have to move, I love my apartment, it is too expensive and too far from downtown. So... it's time to start looking for a new lair for this girl.

Here is what I'm looking for.

1 or 2 bedroom
dog friendly, 2 quiet shih tzu's.
artist friendly - would like to find an apartment in a house that has other artist's/writers/musicians
in a house, possibly with a back yard or deck
laundry on site (though not a deal breaker)
location - between the annex to roncesvalles - along bloor line would be preferred.
close to subway or streetcar line

Time frame - after March. Though I would prefer to move in June, am willing to move if something awesome comes my way :)

It's time to live this life!

December 21st was a turning point. Not only was it the Solstice, it was the day I made a few very large life changing decisions. All my life I've been a writer, I've done freelance writing part-time and full-time and a year and a half ago, while struggling financially I took a year long contract in a publishing house. Though I felt like I was giving in too easily, I'm glad I did, as I learned a lot about the industry, and that will benefit me as a writer. I will never live my life with regrets and it's never to late to change who you are or what you want out of life and on December 21st I finally and fully accepted this.

So what were these decisions... Oh... the suspense...

I'm sure you've already figured part of this out, one of the decisions is to return to writing full-time, both freelance and as a fiction writer. I know financially this is going to be a major struggle and time to time I will need to take part time gigs, such as bar-tending to help pay rent, but I will do what needs to be done to fulfill this crazy dream of mine. In the meantime, I'm applying for grants, looking for freelance work, tightening the belt and looking for a cheaper place to live. This is who I am and the path I've always meant to be on. I've worked in the corporate environment, working 60 hour weeks, owned a house, went on expensive vacations and was miserable the entire time. I felt like I was selling my soul in order to have a few hours a week to write. I promised I will never do that again.

What are the other things...

To submerse myself back into the indie world. Viki and I started a venture a few years ago, we took a hiatus to figure out how to make it the best it can be and decided to return to the world of Indie artists while we think this through. I have such a crazy love for independent artists and want the rest of the world to see the wonderful talent this city and country has to offer.

To push as hard as I can to be a published fiction author. I have short stories and articles published all over North America, but have yet to have a full novel published. I started a writing goal with another author and dear friend and in January I pumped out 12000 plus words, 9000 of that a novella. I'm finding this is giving me the discipline I need.

To live my life the way I used to. In my 20's I had this insane, chaotic life and I loved every minute of it. Ya there were times where I had no clue where rent or grocery money was coming from, slept on peoples couches, partied with musicians, actors and some absolutely outrageous people. But I loved every single moment of it. Then I hit my 30's and something changed, I decided to be responsible, lived with someone, bought a house, got into debt (which I am still struggling to pay off), and worked in an industry that sucked the life out of me. Now in my 40's it's time to go back to what made me happy. Live the life I should be living, with the people who are meant to be in it.

Yes... I will still panic about money.
Yes... I will still worry about if I'm good enough.
Yes... I will still struggle to be creative.
But...
I will be living this life, my life, with no regrets.

It's time to live this life!

Swing over to torontostage.com to check out Carolina Smart's review of Eternal Hydra.